Days 813-814: Versus Fear

Holy I almost had a mental breakdown my internet wasn’t working for like an hour and I don’t know why I don’t even know why it started working again I just I am so happy to be alive right now ugrwah ;o;

In other news Lingua Azar only has 5 things in Qq right now hoooly. My dash has been -so- dead lately. I’ll have to search for new blogs to follow this weekend. I’m so picky with blogs ahaha.

813

Okay…um…Monday…was…woke up…prolly watched Anime. Finished Kuroko, if you didn’t notice and I just wow that ending was so abrupt I don’t even. Hm…went to meet with photo client to print photos. Had some trouble with the paper (my fault) and the printer (of course), but eventually got it sorted out. She’s an acquaintance of mine and heard I was having phone troubles so she offered to take me to the phone store to get it fixed. So that. It doesn’t take long to get Galaco running again, and I check my messages on the way home. To-san called like a billion times and left like four voicemails even though I told him my phone didn’t work ugh whattheactual and then when I call and he’s like “Why didn’t you get your new phone when you were there? I told you on the voicemail. You should have called me,” like, okay…no. Not even going to humor those questions with responses. The rest of the conversation was pretty much he and okaasan not letting me replace that ratchet ass picture of me in my high school graduation garb with one of me in college grad garb. Ugh. It’s such a bad picture. I look like a high Mexican. I’m not even Hispanic. D: …or high for that matter lol.

Anyway.

After that just went to work on metal. Got some parts finished. Then went home and sleep yes.

814

FRICKIN FRACKIN LEAF BUGS GIVING ME NIGHTMARES WHAT THE ACTUAL FRICKLE FRACK.

So yeah woke up to that. Like, I screamed myself awake. I’ve never done that before. I don’t even scream like…ever. I think I can legitimately only recall only one other time in my entire life. So yeah. That happened. And now I think I’m traumatized for life. As if I weren’t already.

Ahaha no but what’s bad is in the dream I was in a car with okaa-san and she was dropping me off somewhere but when we got to the place she stopped to let me out but there was a giant leaf foot bug flying around and I literally begged her not to make me get out there becaue of it and she responded by rolling the window down and it flew in and I freaked the frack out and woke up screaming and that’s my relationship with my parents in a nutshell.

Anyway.

Metal today. Got quite a bit done…like most assembly…yeh. Just gotta make a base somehow…grah. Then lunch with Jisu-san. Lately I’ve been kinda down during lunch but today was better I think. Hm…then…figure…didn’t do anything good today…mou. And in painting holy this painting is taking forever and I’m not even liking it much…I hope I’ll change my mind once all the colours are in place mou. Stayed until the building closed to try and get it ready for process crit on Thursday but I -still- wasn’t done takku. Took a break around six though to go to Starbucks and activate my little PSL card ah it’s so cute~

And then home…where I discovered Chiyuki’s wireless connection wasn’t working for some reason like ??!!?!?!?!??? It was a very terrifying hour but for some reason it started working again once I restarted a few times.

Ja, there were three things I was going to buy tonight. A pair of dresses from that one shop, some french nail…stick on…s? from amazon and a commission from an artist I like…I think I’ve backed out of all but the last one, ahahaha. Too much fear in my life right now for so much impulsive decisions ah.

AaaaAA it’s already this late and I have to get up early tomorrow gross.

Day 812: Versus Birds

Woke up around ten thirty…checked the weather…aaaand it said it was supposed to rain starting at noon. That was -so- not there yesterday. Maa, took that as my cue to get up and go shoot.

Definitely meant to get straight downtown today…but there was a stork along the river and…he was much more accepting of my company than I had anticipated…so he was like three of my words ahahaha and then I left before he did…by the time I actually got downtown I only had two words left to shoot, so it went quickly. Did get caught in the rain a bit though. Had a shake and a really soggy breakfast sandwich from a fast food place on the way back. Well…at least the shake was good. It was pink, that’s Easter-y, right? Ahahaha…

Got back and slept for about an hour. Then anime. Then finally got Dragon Nest to work again. Finished up the chapters with Jasmine and headed to the elf forest only to find that wow suddenly my build sucks. I can’t clear a single dungeon on normal difficulty without dying (multiple times) and for some reason they’ve decided to remove “easy” mode even in spite of the massive difficulty hike. This is cray. I’ve never had a problem on normal difficulty before…I mean, not since I first started the game anyway. I can usually do hard mode without much difficulty. But now I can’t even do normal without sacrificing precious res scrolls? Watevenisthis. I mean I -am- still wearing 50 gear, but that’s never stopped me before either…mou. Guess I’ll have to gear up before I can advance further…saite. I got so frustrated I ended up on Xianyi. I don’t even know how warriors work and he seems to have about the same chances of clearing a dungeon as my main…ahaha. I really wish I could just play Autumine though. But the Academic storyline is spoilersville soooo that’s not happening. Maybe we could play as one of the Kali…surprisingly he story is the same as the main four…aaaaa mou. Regardless, I probably won’t be able to play again for about a month. Got two weeks of classes left and then two weeks of finals. Haaaa.

Tomorrow’s a day off from classes but I still have to do photography and a boat load of metal. l’D Also those random bbs that somehow landed on my legs left scars but they just look like freckles awww. Meanwhile, the comet on my arm is starting to itch. D:

Aaaand…that is all. 

Day 811: Versus 25/hour

Ahaha did some work today. A friend of Yaya’s heard I did senior pictures and wanted me to take hers as well. So that happened. I think it didn’t take as long as Yaya’s? Or maybe it did…I don’t know. Anyway, it took about two hours so I made $50, and then once we get into printing it’ll be more depending on prints ahaha yesgood. Maa, it was pretty fun, though it was cloudy so the lighting was kind of blah but at least it wasn’t scorching.

After~ Went home and watched anime for the remainder of my life ahaha. Also sleep. A lot…of sleep. I really did nothing today. But I don’t feel bad about it at all because the art building was closed so there’s literally nothing I can do, yes good~

Also, can we just talk about the ridiculous amount of loli/shota in this season’s anime?!?! So there’s a loli in No Game No Life, Black Bullet it literally about lolis saving the world, loli in Devil’s Riddle, there’s a Ciel-clone shota in Soredemo Sekai ga Utsukushii, and for SOME reason there was a need to turn Zeus into a shota in Kamigami like ????????

I don’t even. And I know I’m missing some.

But anyway. Going to sleep now and hopefully will wake up at a decent time tomorrow so we can do photography before it gets stupidly hot outside…We’ve just got a few words left…I think…Wisdom, Knowledge, Self-Portrait, The Decisive Moment, and…Sharp. Yeh.

Day 810: Versus Good Friday

Aaaa so much happened today it feels like three days in one. Woke up around eleven and got ready to meet everyone at IHOP. The walk over was just long enough to start to feel too warm for my tastes, but the weather would probably have been nice in the shade. I was the first one to arrive so I put us on the wait list. They were unexpectedly busy. It seemed like there were high schoolers everywhere.

Who goes to IHOP on their day off?! Apparently everyone.

Jisu-san arrived next a little after noon. Kouhai-kun arrived right as we were being seated, and Kurisu-san joined us shortly after. Took our time eating and talking and then went to get milkshakes after, sans Kurisu-san since she had a lot of homework…Successfully convinced Kouhai-kun to take us to WalMart. Also forgot to buy half the things I needed like thread and paper plates, but I got food at least. Jisu-san said she needed to stock up a bit, too, since she didn’t know all the food facilities on campus are closed until Tuesday like ahaha no who does that?

Got home around three and put away groceries. Found out that to-san had called and I didn’t hear it at all like ????? but he was at the phone store upgrading phones and wanted to know if I wanted an upgrade or not. I’d managed to take a look at the new phones at WalMart…the only size difference I really noticed was it’s quite a bit thicker now…I guess I’ll just “get used to it.” The hardware specs makes it worth upgrading.

Went out to shoot for a few hours after that. I meant to go downtown and shoot but got so distracted on the way, particularly at the marina because boats, that I never made it there. My head started hurting ridiculously about halfway through so I sat under a tree for a while. Waaah, the weather really was beautiful today in the shade. I felt bad for wanting to sit an enjoy it more, but it reminded me of that scene in SAO where Asuna scolds Kirito for lazing around in the grass when they should be working to get back to the real world, and he replies with something akin to, “It’s Aincrad’s nicest season and today is its nicest weather setting; Entering the dungeon on a day like this is a waste.” Sou ne. Chotto nonbiri shita.

Demo ato de I RAN INTO THOSE GIANT BLACK BUG THINGS THAT I HATE EVEN MORE THAN MOTHS AND ONE OF THEM BLOCKED MY PATH ON THE BRIDGE AND WHEN I TRIED TO CROSS IT CHASED ME AAAHHH IT FLEW FASTER THAN I COULD RUN IT WAS TERRIBLE. Mou. Eto…pretty sure it’s a Coreidae of some sort but I don’t know and trying to find it by looking at pictures is giving me anxiety ahahahahaha goodbye world I need to go purge my eyes with kittens and library girls wah.

Eeto…got back around….six? Almost finished with the assignment…maybe tomorrow I’ll go out and get to shoot downtown. Maybe. Also have to shoot graduation pictures for one of Yaya’s friends but upon returning home I’ve found that my phone doesn’t work sooooooo not sure how that’s gunna go down.

Tonikaku.

Was going to play Dragon Nest because 70 cap but I kept getting a hacksheild error grah I even tried re-installing the game but it still won’t work ;^; so I ended up just watching a bunch of anime I was behind on. Mou. Forever DragonNestless. Uguu.

Now…maa, probably sleep. Or more anime.

Day 809: Versus Duck

Aaaaaaa I fell asleeeepppp

Ah. Okay. So. Metal, figure, and painting. Got quite a bit done in each of them. And had lunch with Jisu. And also found out the cause to many of my problems lately is a pretty bad case of magnesium deficiency. At first I was just wondering why I was dizzy and nauseous again, like I had been over spring break. But it turns out an Mg deficiency can lead to that and numbness, tingling, fatigue, personality change, irregular heartbeat, and a small host of other things. I’d been wondering why I occasionally couldn’t feel my left leg or why it tingled when I walked sometimes, I’ve been especially quiet and irritable for a few weeks and, maa, I’m always tired so I’m not sure if it counts but there it is. Also the sources of Mg…yeah, I don’t eat those. Vegetables, nuts…what even are these. On the rare occasion I do eat, it’s usually starch. Ahaha. So there was that. Planned on eating well for dinner but all the dining halls closed after lunch soooooooo I had rice. Watched some new season anime to take my mind off the hunger because ahaha I haven’t had a real meal since Monday but ahahaha. I’m probably going to die, nbd. 

ALSO I SAW THE DUCK PRINCESS THIS AFTERNOON. That is all.

Okay, I have a story I’ve seen this lady duck with four male ducks in this stream all semester and I’m def convinced she’s the duck princess and they are her bodyguards. One day she started appearing with only three guards, and while I like to think he was honorably discharged from duty to pursue his own happiness and start a family (even though he was secretly the princess’ favourite), I realized it was more likely he (honorably) died somehow (protecting the princess in an epic battle of course). Today, about a month later, I see her with one close and two others following. But there is another one. Off by himself, I first think he is her long lost fourth guard yay! But every time he tries to get close to the princess the two guards chase him away! Is he an unwanted suitor to her highness? Is he the fourth guard, who was actually banished due to a royal scandal?! Or is he the fourth guard’s long lost brother, come to warn the princess of imminent danger only to be chased off and not believed?!?? I shall have to keep observing them. #ducks

Day 808: Versus Break

Aah…I dream of having nice party dresses and being pettanko and rushing around late to places ahaha. And then I wake up and go to ceramics, yes.

We were supposed to have a speaker today but he had to reschedule for next week. Probably a good thing because the turnout for class today was pitiful. Ahaha. Maa, we loaded a bisque kiln and I worked on dremmeling down the glaze off one of my cups that ran. Then went to photo. Sensei just passed out the new assignment and went around to check our progress. We got out early so I switched labs and worked on shopping Yaya’s photos. Then went to lunch with Jisu-san and Kurisu-san…I was a bit late though. Ran into Kietsu-san on the way. Aah her hair is so short now. We talked about job hunting, ahahaha. l’D Ah~ There were lemon squares in the dining hall today yae~ Hm…then fabric. I think I need to buy some dark red thread.

Was going to work on ceramics more after classes but there was still a class in there…so went home and knocked the fawk out ahahaha. The whole way home I tried to justify taking the evening off. It still just doesn’t feel right. I have so much to do and I’m about to have a forced three-day vacation sort of…I mean, we’ll still have to do photography, but other than that, the building will be closed so we can’t do anything else…wah. Speaking of the break like wow we are like -completely- out of food. And it’s not the “out of food” like at goryoushin’s place, but there is legit like a can of soup, pizza rolls, a couple juice boxes, and maybe enough cereal for one more bowl. Aaand that’s gotta last me a good four days, ahaha. Maa, Jisu-san says we should go to IHOP on Friday, since all the dining halls will be closed. I should get something big and then I’ll have leftovers for Saturday at least, yeh~

Woke up around…7 30? Made some tea. Watched the second Little Busters! Ex OVA and read the new Kuroshitsuji chapter. Internet was being a jerk though. Also I think I’ll finally finish Soul Eater tonight. Only got like nine chapters left.

Day 807: Versus Examaning

Ahhhh.

Woke up and remembered I had the honors college graduation banquet and that means I should probably business casual. But metal. And metal means jeans. So jeans. We talked about our sketches and models and then got to work a bit. I just gathered wires I could use for later and then left a little early so I could go home and change. After a bit of debate I ended up wearing that shirt I got from that one store I really like for no reason, the Yuki skirt, Alice tie, leggings, and my heeled boots. I literally have no idea how I used to walk all over campus in those boots holy crap just walking from my place to the dining hall down the street a block was painful to say the least.

Maa, met up with Jisu-san and we had lunch yes. Itsumodoori. Then figure. We started using coloured chalks gross. Also I had to stand most of the time yes no very ouch making. It was super hot in the room so I ended up taking off the coat Yaya let me borrow yesterday and even my hats…wah. I used my painting apron because fawk getting my white shirt coloured no. Ditto with painting. I think I got all the darkest sections done.

I had planned on leaving around 6, since the banquet was at 6 30, but the whole class was gone around 5 45. Thinking I had some extra time, I went to the fabric room to iron my shirt a bit. But the iron was dirty so I had to find cloth to put over my shirt and I ended up burning my other arm on the iron and I left but I forgot my tie on the table so I had to go back and it was just not good. As much of a face I tried to put on it really hurt, grah. Not as much as the welding burn, of course. But more than my sunburn. u.u Because of that fiasco I ended up there…not as early as I’d wanted to get there. Met with Hudec-san, whom I haven’t really seen since Japanese classes, but other than that I just kind of awkwardly stood around, realizing I don’t really know anyone from the honors college well. I mean, I know of most of them, of course but not really enough to interrupt their conversations with the others to say hi or anything.

Tonikaku, it was almost time to start so I thought I’d go sit at an almost empty table. I found one with only one wallet saving a seat and thought, cool, at least one other person will be here. Maybe they’ll bring friends. But it was some girl I didn’t know and her two parents and they just moved to another table. People started sitting down shortly after and it was chouuu nervous making because no one would sit with me. Like…what. Literally all my colleagues went and sat at other tables, with other people…even awkward Kotone-san was sitting with fellow students. Like, okay, I know I can’t truly call any one of you a friend because it’s not like we talk but oi…c’mon…you at least know me, right? I even ate lunch with a group of them every other day for half a year! Just…really?

Once pretty much everyone had settled a group of koureisha came and sat at my table. One of them was a former professor I’d had along with her husband, another professor and his wife, and an advocate for the college of arts and sciences slash honors professor. He talked to me quite a bit. He was cool. He knew ceramics-sensei. Yesgood.

Okay, so the food except the cake was super mediocre. Was legitimately hungry again not ten minutes after finishing my cake I think. Also they ran out of lasagna like ???? but I mean it’s not like it was really good or anything…Tonikaku, the speeches, aaah the speeches. Gave me some Tatami Galaxy moments there. Like, man oh man how different would my college life have been if I’d been more involved with the honors college? What if I actually made friends here? Ones that we’ve shared life stories with, ones that we study with, ones who we hung out with on weekends. Ones that would sit with me at our graduation banquet. I mean, even though I don’t have many friends here it’s not like I regret becoming friends with those people. But just what if we’d also…Seito Kaicho’s speech especially. I don’t know why but ever since I first met him freshman year I’ve always kind of admired him. He’s another one of those with a speaking ability that’s lightyears beyond mine. He’s a business major inside and out, let’s just say that. He, and the other two who gave speeches as well, though I ironically had absolutely no idea who the other male was before tonight, sounded like they had such fond memories of the honors college and the people in it. Meanwhile I was busy hoping around trying to find myself, ha, and then settled in a program most people can’t finish in four years much less three like I had to. Takku.

Okay and then also I was noticing how out of place I was and wanted to cry for a different reason like, woh here’s me in business dress and literally all the other girls, even the quiet nerdy ones who usually can’t dress to save themselves, are in these cute party dresses that could maybe just pass for “business casual” in this sexist 21st century where you can have your thighs and boobs hanging out and still call it formal if you’re lady-bodied. Mou ii yo! I’ll just be stupidly cute at the ASA banquet next week…! Wait, that’s J-club next week…I should probably dress up for that, too, though, especially considering it’s right after the student show ahaha. Wait no it’s not…that was moved. Okay. Fine. Well it’s the next day. Why’s everyone suddenly banquet, anyway?! D: Anyway, come ASA I gotta be hella. Like one hundred hella.

…Man, I don’t even own party dresses. Legit all I did these four years was grow out of clothes faster than I could buy them and apparently not make any honors college friends ahahaha.

…Srsly though, wtf am I going to wear to the senior show and the J-club banquet and ASA banquet ???!?!??

Mou.

Tonikaku. Mou, even the koureisha were apologizing for me having to sit at a table full of “old folk.” Mou. It’s not that that I mind. Old people have the most interesting stories. And if I were with students I barely knew I’d probably just have been on my phone the whole time. So it’s not like I regret being forced to sit with koureisha. I just wish it wasn’t because none of the students wanted to sit with me. DAKARA、

上を向~いて

あ~るこう~

なみだが~

こぼれ~ないよう~に~

…uguu.

マイハズといっしょにかえた。Somehow we got to talking about kami. I noticed how long it’d gotten even though it’s only been a year since I had almost a buzzcut. He said he liked it how it is but I was laik nah bruh. And I was laik, “Maybe I should give up on growing it out again…” and he was laik, “Not if you’re making a face like that while just thinking about it.” Aa. Uguu. Chotto dorama mitai. I should write this stuff down ahahaha.

Maa…got home at like…nine? And…yeah I have done nothing. Night wasted just like my life ahahaha.

Day 806: Versus Food

I’m so tired and I don’t even know whyyyyyyy we literally slept almost the entire weekend why thiiiiiisss.

Grah.

Tonikaku. My sunburn’s fading to a slight brown and with that I go to class in this 40 degree weather ahahaha. Got distracted in ceramics by unloading the big kiln so I didn’t get as much work done as I wanted…Also the single cup I had in there ran l’D Sadness. Finished crit and then got out of photo early because sensei wasn’t feeling well. Went to eat with Yaya since I’d said I’d treat her for once haha. Then fabric…dragged on forever as usual. Then Yaya magically obtained money like she somehow always does and so we went to eat dinner. Got back and ASA meeting. Aaah it was so great to be there. It’s probably just because I know I’ll have to leave soon but I really did enjoy my time with ASA ;o; Also moto kaichou and moto historian came to visit aah I wonder if they remembered me~

After that…studio work, grah. Did drawings for metal, then finished up ceramics, and then worked on feet for about thirty minutes before getting fed up ahahaha. To-san also called asking if I wanted the Galaxy S5 like waitwat I literally just got this phone not a year ago but ahahha yeah not gunna say no to new technology lol.

Went home…and…sleep time. lD

Day 805: Versus Miracle

GAIS GAIS I THINK THE WORLD IS ENDING I WOKE UP AT A DECENT TIME TODAY AND ACTUALLY GOT STUFF DONE AAAA WATISHAPPENING.

Aaaa.

Eeeto woke up around eleven and messed with Galaco’s lockscreen some more. Finally figured out how to have it lock with that one app I liked. Unlike all the other apps that had built-in locks, this one just uses the phone’s lock. I guess that makes sense, since it’s already there and all…

Contacted Taco-san to see if he could come get Hime-sama’s backing board before I left for the art building. He said he could stop by later after it was open, so I just went to get my camera and then came back to give the board away. Had the leftover wings and sushi from yesterday and watched the new Akuma no Riddle and wow I actually think Devil’s Riddle sounds cooler in English? Ah, but anyway, the first…2/3 of the episode were really pretty meh so I was losing hope, but it got better at the end so yey.

Went to do photo for a bit after that. I found this really cool place under a bridge system where a bunch of swallows had made nests and there were so many zooming all over the place aaa it was so neat. Tried to take a picture but it was too dark so they came out blurry u.u

Went to school to meet with social-chair-san so she could print out some business cards, but I realized I’d left my wallet at home so I had to go back to get it first. But anyway. She had perforated business cards paper, which I’d never used on the giant printers before so it took a bit of figuring out but we eventually got it. Made the banquet tickets while the cards printed. Aaand then went to the library because treasurer-san said officers had to pay for banquet this year because we’re broke. l’D Also withdrew funds for dues because I haven’t paid them yet either ahahaha. Also vanilla frappe because dinner ahahaha.

Theeen went to work on ceramics. Managed to churn out four more cups, so I just have to make one more during class tomorrow and fix up the ones I made today after they’ve hardened a bit. Ahaha. Then went to metal. We had to make “texture samples” for the next project this weekend. I used a lot of found materials and made something kinda cool looking I think. I even thought it was fun. But then I get home and sensei has sent out an email saying that because the studio was pretty much empty all weekend he’s going to grade us with no leniency this time around. :’D Welp, I’ve made straight Cs thus far, how low can we go~

Annnd I think I’ve just accepted my fate after graduation now. Shou ga nai na. Eso si que es.